Grrr.

Today's workout was Bulger. This was my first real WOD since September, when I stopped in twice to CrossFit Casco Bay, where they kicked my ass there, too. (They were really nice, helpful, and good-looking about it though, so if you're in Portland, you should drop by!) Let's just say today FELT like the first WOD in a very long time, and I was mad at myself the whole way through.

If you were too lazy to click on the link, Bulger is:
10 Rounds
150m row (because we're in NYC and the running space is limited)
7 Chest to Bar Pull Ups
7 Front Squats
7 Hand Stand Push Ups

The cut-off time was 27 minutes. I got through 6 rounds (or seven, I lost track, don't tell Tony), plus 150m row and 7 C2B.



OK, so rowing was no problem--for the most part I was able to stay below 30 strokes per minute, and I stayed below a 2:15/500m pace, which, for being a not-strong rower and newly-back-in-the-saddle, is not bad. (Many rounds I stayed below 2:05! Woot!)

Chest to Bar pull ups. Ugh. I am SOOOO mad at myself for being in the green band. I mean, yes, gaining 10 lbs and not doing them for 3 months means I'm not going to be badass at them the first time round. The good thing is I only had to break up two of the rounds 5 and then 2, and for the most part, I was chest above bar. (Unlike most other people in the gym, I might add. Ahem.)

Front squats. Historically my favorite part of a WOD have been the squats--if I can get there, it's my "rest." Not so any longer. Let's start with the paltry weight I used - 65 pounds. And then form. My form SUCKS. I'm leaning over too much, not getting below parallel often, and just hating it the whole time. I think the most bewildering part was that I wasn't loving the squats. It's like I didn't even know myself anymore! *sob*

Hand stand push ups. I can kick up to the wall, but since I haven't been doing it for awhile, I don't stay on the wall very long. So after the first round where I wasted probably a minute trying to stay up right, repeatedly kicking up, I just went to box push ups. It felt wimpy. But, as I've never been a great handstand pushup-er (it's always been a celebration when I lowered myself two inches in the hand stand), this was less frustrating.

I left the gym feeling kind of high (it's inevitable) and kind of shitty. Mostly, I felt lonely. I've not met anyone at the gym, and there's no camraderie. I know I will meet people, and it will be fine, but for now, I'm in a dark place. Good thing when I win the challenge, it will all seem like a distant memory, and not even that unpleasant. Right?