I am flailing. It's 11:30 am, I have a headache, I feel dehydrated, and I just want to go to bed. Yesterday, I worked from home. I never left my bed.  These days, I'm feeling a lot like this:

I'm not sure what's brought about this sudden surge of depression, but I have a lot of guesses.  First, I haven't been to the gym since last Thursday. I know, I know! I love the gym. I love working out. But between work hours (which are not convenient for gym hours) and all the traveling I've been doing, it just hasn't happened.  And now that it's been a week, I. Don't. Want. To. Go.  The only things that interest me at all are 1) skating or 2) muay thai, and those are hard to come by. (Derby is only on Saturdays and Sundays.)

Second, I can now say that telling yourself that feeling no repercussions on the days you eat SAD-food does not mean that those choices are without consequences.  Over the weekend, I went to LA, where I generally ate fine, but had some desserts after 2 meals.  Which means the sugar monster reared it's ugly head and on Monday, I had birthday cake at school. BIRTHDAY CAKE.  Not only was it sugar-filled, but I broke my 3-month no gluten streak.  Suffice it to say, while I felt fine at the time, and shortly after, it's now 3 days later and I do not feel fine.

Finally, it's dark out. All the time. It's dark when I come to work. It's dark when I leave the office.  I have no windows.  And it's only November. I'm really concerned that I may get Seasonal Affective Disorder. I've lived in cold climates before,  but I've never felt quite so down.

So yeah. SAD food + SAD weather = SAD Tricia.  And I'm not sure what to do about it. For now, I'm focusing on rehydrating, eating clean, and forcing myself to get out of bed.  Any other ideas?


  1. Buy a "happy light." It seemed stupid to me, but I have a real problem starting around Thanksgiving and running to about Groundhog Day, and it really helps.

    I use it first thing when I get up in the morning.

    Also, you might want to do some bodyweight exercises before work in the morning. It will improve your mood, and I know that going to the gym adds extra time and effort. You only need spend 15 minutes doing squats, push-ups, sit-ups, burpees or whatever, and you'll get your blood flowing.

    Anything is better than nothing!

  2. Thanks for the advice! I woke up today with the sun (later than normal, but it felt better), did some squats, push ups and pull ups, and definitely felt the difference. (Other than just feeling weak from having been out of the gym for awhile. . . it felt good to be moving again.) I'm meeting up with some folks to do some boxing tonight, so I'm hoping that shaking up the routine will force me to get back into on.

    I'm definitely looking for a "happy lamp." It's not yet that dark and I don't want to even imagine this getting worse.