That's right. After weighing myself this morning and seeing a number I haven't seen in -- oh, I don't know, maybe 10 years -- I went online and checked my BMI. I plugged in my weight (136.5lbs), and my petite 5'2" height, and there it was. In print.
I am overweight.
Yes, yes, BMI is bad. Scales are bad. Go with how you feel, how your clothes fit, keep eating clean, and everything will be ok. But the fact of the matter is, things are not ok. I don't feel good. My clothes are way too tight. Couple that with the scale this morning, and something has to be done.
Now, I know you are all very supportive folks. And that's part of what keeps me on the paleo/crossfit bandwagon. But the thing is, I don't really want to hear how you can't tell, or how I've been sick and my body is fighting off illness. While those things may be true (and very sweet), telling me everything will be ok actually just makes me feel bad for feeling bad, and that's silly.
The facts are facts: I'm getting bigger. And I need to do something about it. I'm going to try being more strict with my food journal (ugh, I hate food journals), and try to get some crossfit in, with maybe some lowered weights and reps. (Going hard has been leaving me out of commission for a few days afterward. Sigh.) Otherwise, I'm plenty open to suggestions of things to do other than waiting. For the record -- I am not good at waiting.
Trust me, I know paleo and crossfit are good, and weight gain in and of itself is not bad. Just a few short months ago (around mid-February), I remember feeling awesome. I was getting strong. I was not freaking out that I had gained 5 lbs because I was sure of how it got there. It's the 10 lbs on top of that are annoying me -- the ones that have come while laying around and doing nothing. And that's why I'm not going to do nothing about them.
Cardio. Crossfit has great advantages but throwing in a little extra cardio can help. I hate using a food journal. I did it for my first few months of Paleo now I just stick with the same amounts.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on dropping those 10 or so pounds. From reading your blog you have the drive and dedication to do it.
"I don't really want to hear how you can't tell, or how I've been sick and my body is fighting off illness."
ReplyDeleteI hear you, sister! I'm struggling with the same thing right now.
I'm coming off a thyroid meltdown, and although I know all the reasons I'm carrying a few extra pounds, THAT DOESN'T MATTER to my feelings. It feels bad.
Here's what I'm doing about it -- maybe it will help you, too...
1. I always keep a food journal at http://www.fitday.com. The ritual really helps and because I eat the same things a lot, it's easy to just re-plug them in.
2. I'm committing to my 5X a week training: 2 CrossFits, 2 heavy lifting, one run or CrossFit, depending on my mood. During the thyroid meltdown, I cut back to 2-3 times per week. Not good. So now, I"m doing 5. And if I don't feel well enough to go hard, I'll go for a walk. I need to MOVE.
3. This is the hardest one: I'm ignoring the extra fat. I'm just trying my damnedest to pretend it's not there.
I've lost 47 lbs. so far, and there was a time, when this weight was my "skinny" weight. And I felt damn good about it.
I'm trying to remember that feeling and know that if I eat cleanly and train diligently, my body will fall in line.
Hang in there! This shit is hard. But I've been following this blog since it started, and y'all are not babies. You're tougher than body fat. You can do it.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ReplyDeletePay attention to that comment
Tricia,
ReplyDeleteEverything you say is true. BMI and the scale are blatant liars, you should go by look, fit, feel and performance, and, yes, it is silly to feel bad for being sick. So, gently, softly, gradually...
snap out of it
It does suck, no question. You hate feeling bad, I hate it for you, especially as I'm at least as impatient as you are and I can do precious little about it. Couple impatience with a low grade control issue and you being in a physical slump makes me crazy.
But, and it's a big but, you've already started to recover. This may be a good learning experience in patience and letting go of those things we can't control. For both of us. Hang in there, train with us as you can, eat well, take your supplements and pay lots of attention to yourself and your recovery. Life is a long term thing.
and Melissa is right:
ReplyDelete"...y'all are not babies. You're tougher than body fat. You can do it."