Day 9: Who are you today?

I'm working at my new standing desk, eating an avocado, and my coworkers are giving me strange looks.  At Crossfit this morning, everyone commented on my knee socks (gray, with rainbow stripes today) and expressed their surprise that I didn't really want the "paleo" muffins someone had made.* A few days earlier, at derby practice, someone discovered that I am a lawyer, that I have represented folks on death row, and that I don't have any tattoos. 

Apparently, I am a weirdo in every setting.

It's intriguing to me the identities we take on at different times and in different places.  Currently, I'm focused on being strong physically, which means I'm identifying myself by how I work out, and not what I do. That means derby talk and boastful comments about O-lifts** are starting to work themselves into water-cooler talk.  I'm becoming a bit boring to talk to. It's hard, because it's not that I don't care about everything else that's going on, it's just what I'm trying to stay motivated about, so I keep talking about it.

What are you talking about? Do others know about your challenge?

*I appreciate the gesture, really, but when it's got dried apricots, lemon AND honey in it, let's just be honest and call it a candy bar.

**I did my first one-armed snatch with the bar today! Yay!

Day 8: Operation LOL

I only really started lifting in the past few weeks, nonetheless, I am up 6 lbs since last month. And honestly? I am enjoying every. single. second. of. it.

No, really. I feel stronger, my clothes still fit, and nothing gives me more enjoyment than the strange looks I get when I announce that I'm trying to gain mass.

Seriously. It seems like no one knows what to think when a woman says she wants to GAIN weight.  Josh, my trainer at Crossfit Sanctify, is seriously stoked about it.  Everyone else seems, well, concerned.  When I announced my increase this morning after our WOD, the rest of my fellow crossfitters gave me a sideways glance until someone finally asked: "But why are you doing this?"

A lot of reasons, really. First, I turn 30 next year, and much like Mirriam, I want to give myself a  birthday present of being stronger. Second, I'd like to have a little more heft to use to counteract some of the size being thrown at me in derby. I'm pretty stable on my feet, but when a big girl comes in from the outside with centrifugal force on her side, there's only so much my smaller frame can do.  And third, after decades of trying to figure out a million ways to lose weight, I'm pretty ready to tell society to take its norms and shove it. Quite honestly, I'm an easy gainer (both muscle- and fat-wise) and it's ridiculous when I think about how many years I've spent fighting myself by trying to change that into losing.  It's time to love my body as it is.

Which brings me to this fantastic piece of advice: "You can't fix a body you hate." And beyond fixing it, you certainly can't make it stronger.  Derby has done a lot for me--strength wise and socially--but the biggest thing it ever did for me came after I read this interview with the amazing and brilliant Elle Machete:

[What] influence has derby had on your life?  Roller Derby gave me my body back. There are so many people trying to define your body. They tell you what clothes make you look "trashy" or "matronly." They tell you to calculate health in terms of pounds on the scale. They tell you what type of jeans to wear, so your "butt doesn't look fat." Roller derby was the first time I was able to define my body on my own terms. My body can knock blockers to the floor. My body can make jammers cry (true story). And my beautiful skater booty looks HUGE in those jeans, thank you very much. Aside from that incredible personal breakthrough, derby has given me a community like none other. I don't go to church on Sunday mornings; I go to derby practice.

(Emphasis mine.) How about y'all? How are your challenges coming? Any changes in how you feel about *your* body?

Day 3 Update: Remembering our standards for ourselves

Today in class, my students were discussing a draft motion that we are planning on filing soon.  They had a lot of questions and wanted to know a lot of background information about the case, but in asking those questions, they lost sight of what it is they needed to prove: they forgot what the standard was that they needed to meet.  I feel a little bit like that today.

This morning I went to crossfit and did some deadlifts, but really felt like a failure.  The weight I did was 50lbs less than what I did last year, and I was suffering some ill effects from eating sugar yesterday (dark chocolate covered almonds.)  And so I've been beating myself up about it.  But in doing so, I've lost sight of what I'm supposed to be judging myself by: lifting heavy and eating to fuel my muscles.  Have I done that? Yes! Maybe not perfectly, and maybe not as heavy as I'd like, but that doesn't mean I'm failing at what I've set out to do.

Crossfitters, dieters and lawyers alike tend to be a down-on-themselves bunch.  Andreanna over at Life As a Plate has a really good piece about being kinder to ourselves.  Go read it, and revel in your successes.

How's Day 3 going for you?

It's been over 80 degrees and humid every day for the past few weeks.  I live on the 3rd floor, which means my house has been much, much hotter.  Cooking has been a chore. Moving at all in the apartment has been a chore. I've been struggling to keep cool, but I think these may be the answer. 

Creamy Coconut Paletas (from Mixandmoxie.com)
Makes six to eight pops

Ingredients: 

• 1 13½-oz. can coconut milk
• 1 14-oz. can organic sweetened condensed milk 
• 2/3 c. half-and-half
• ¼ tsp. salt
• ¼ tsp. pure vanilla extract
• ¾ c. unsweetened shredded coconut (For a toasted coconut flavor, spread a thin layer of shreds on a baking sheet and toast in the oven at 325° for 10-15 minutes.) 

Directions:

1. Put the coconut milk, sweetened condensed milk, half-and-half, salt, and vanilla in a blender; blend until smooth.
2. Stir in the shredded coconut.
3. If using conventional popsicle molds, divide the mixture among the molds, snap on the lid, and freeze until solid, about 6 hours. If using glasses (try shot glasses for mini paletas) or other unconventional molds, freeze until pops begin to set (about 2 hours), then insert sticks and freeze until solid.

I know what I'm making tonight!

Day 3 of "pwning" August

How are you doing with your goals? Headed to the gym/beach/horses/yoga today? Taking time to treat your body right?

I had a mixed day at the gym: craptastic presses (couldn't press more than #65lbs when last week I did 75# five times!), but I conquered some mental games I was trying to play with myself and jumped up to 25", knowing I could have gone more if the class was 5 minutes longer. This is a big deal to me (although most of you can probably jump twice as high), since I have an aversion to box jumping--I'm not light on my feet, and I used to fall off the box at least once every workout that included the move.

Coincidentally, I'm also on Day Three of feeling this way:



Your day has got to have gone better than mine.

Day 2

Taking a rest day, complete with a whopping 8 hours of sleep.  After 2 days of crossfit and 2 days of derby practice, my muscles are giving me that awesome "I earned this" sore feeling. 

I am absolutely ravenous and proceeded to eat an entire celery bunch with avocado, then almond butter at my desk.  Contrary to what my students think, it is never too early for celery.

How is your day going?

What to do when traveling happens smack in the middle of a challenge

On Saturday I am headed to South Carolina and Alabama for 9 days for work. I won't have a kitchen at my disposal, and the gym is rinky dinky. So what is a girl to do? I've rounded up some of the least-annoying posts out there on the web about how to stay healthy while living out of a suitcase.

A good general read on what to do when you're traveling and don't want to be thrown off the horse and then stepped on.

How to avoid craptastic food when you're on the road.

Eva T.'s exercises you can do anywhere because they only require your body weight.

One of the less make-you-feel-bad-about-yourself posts about how to eat out healthily.